Grandparents are an incredible gift not every child gets to have. Whether there’s one or four, grandparents can offer unconditional love and acceptance that parents often can’t. They can be their grandkids’ mentors, teachers, shoulders to cry on, playmates, and best friends. Although each family situation and relationship are different, research shows that maternal grandparents tend to be closer to the children than paternal, for several reasons. Additionally, a new study indicates that maternal grandmothers can significantly help the kids going through difficult situations compared to other grandparents.
What is the matrilineal advantage?
The basis of matrilineal advantage is that daughters tend to be closer to their own parents than their in-laws. This leads to maternal grandparents spending more time with kids than the paternal, especially since women tend to be closer to their parents than men are to theirs. “Women are more active in maintaining those relationships,” said Jan Mutchler, a sociologist and gerontologist at the University of Massachusetts, Boston, to the New York Times. “When you have mothers and daughters, then you have two women working on it.” This often comes in the form of more frequent phone contact, support, and advice.
“Gatekeeping” the grandkids
Whether they work or stay at home, mothers tend to be in charge of family plans, including phone calls, playdates, sharing news, and family gatherings. At the same time, they can cancel and restrict certain activities. And if they don’t get along with their in-laws, they can “gatekeep” the grandkids. For some people, their relationship with their grandchildren begins long before they are born by cultivating a loving connection with the daughter-in-law. If she feels uncomfortable, disrespected, or like she’s “walking on eggshells” around them, she’s more likely to limit their visits for her own peace of mind.
Why maternal grandparents see the children more often
Since women are more likely to feel comfortable around their own mothers, they are more likely to allow them in scenarios they would generally exclude people. For instance, they’ll be comfortable having them visit when their house is a mess or when they are in a hospital bed after giving birth. These scenarios don’t necessarily reflect badly on her connection with her in-laws; it’s just a matter of personal comfort and boundaries, which can inadvertently lead to the paternal grandparents seeing their grandkids less often.
There are many, many exceptions
Keep in mind, this research reflects commonalities but not hard rules. Some in-laws are close with their daughters-in-law and see their kids frequently. On the flipside, some women have distant relationships with their own mothers, who therefore see the children less often. Everyone knows anecdotes about all sorts of familial situations, and there are always more factors involved aside from paternity or maternity.
The power of the maternal grandmother
With that being said, a new study has found how specifically maternal grandmothers can benefit their grandkids’ development. The research was published in Scientific Reports and it indicates that maternal grandmas can greatly reduce emotional and behavioural issues in children who endured multiple difficulties in their early life. The study highlights how this crucial relationship can mitigate the effects of stressful experiences on a young person’s mental health.
Read More: The Benefits Of Kids Living Close To Their Grandparents
How grandparents affect the kids’ wellbeing
The study used data from the Involved Grandparenting and Child Well-Being survey from 2007. The researchers analyzed how paternal and maternal grandparents contribute to their grandchild’s wellbeing. They wanted to investigate prior studies that state that maternal grannies invest more in the kids, particularly in the context of childhood adversities, such as the death of loved ones, financial hardships, relatives with substance abuse or serious illnesses, crime victimization, as well as parental separation and incarceration. The survey involved over 1500 adolescents’ questionnaires that allowed experts to assess their level of emotional and behavioural issues. It also assessed the amount of grandparental investment in their lives in the form of visits, activities, dependability, and financial help.